Taking the Plunge

By Lauren Pritchard-Gordon

Getting back into dating is a daunting prospect for many people. Even the most socially adept people suffer with nerves and subsequently make excuses not to start dating.

There are numerous reasons why people choose not to date, the main ones include: experiencing a string of bad relationships; going through a divorce; work commitments; past heartache; illness, the death of a previous partner and negative self-image.

Many of the people who are reluctant to start dating again actually crave companionship but remain unsure about the best way to meet potential partners. Therefore, more often than not, they simply don’t bother trying.

However, we’re going to look at why taking the plunge and choosing to join the dating game does pay off.

Lone ranger
When we feel lonely, it’s easy to slip into depression. It’s common to feel isolated and as though we’re the only ones going through the emotions we experience at this time. However, it’s often the case that many other people are experiencing exactly the same feelings as you and are just as nervous as you are about the prospect of dating. Only when reaching out to make a connection with other single people will you realise that you’re not alone. Therefore, initiating these new affiliations can often help to combat the loneliness as you meet people who you can relate to.

Creating a social network
Whether you choose to date online, take up a new hobby to meet people, or just generally venture out of the house more, even if you don’t meet your soul mate straight away, you’ll be increasing your social network. Don’t forget that the people you meet will have their own group of friends, not to mention brothers and sisters, and who knows, one of these people could well end up being your soul mate!

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New experiences
When starting to date again, it is common to go to places you may never have been to before, and to discover new hobbies which you never expected to enjoy. When people venture back into the world of dating, they are often pleasantly surprised by the variety of new experiences they find themselves exposed to because new people bring new introductions.

Stuck in a rut
It’s easy to get stuck in a dating rut. Although a person in this situation may want to find a partner, he/she may feel too old, out of touch, unattractive, and so on. The reality is that anyone can find love, at any age, and even a greater number of people can start dating. So there’s no excuse! However, it does take a willingness to put the effort into finding love and being open to new possibilities. Once these factors are in place, a whole host of opportunities become available.

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Self-fulfilling prophecy
Many people are left jaded by negative past experiences, and push potential partners away with their negative attitude towards relationships. They lose faith in the whole dating game, presuming that any new dates will be doomed to fail. When this perspective is deeply embedded within a person’s psyche, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so that any new connections automatically become injected with negative thoughts and feelings. How can the seeds of love hope to grow in such a barren climate? Many people don’t even realise that they’re sending out such pessimistic vibes. The good news is that, through monitoring (and subsequently adjusting) your negative thought processes, you can transform the way you view relationships, and in turn, change the message you subconsciously give out to other single people.

Support network
You often hear that dieters have more success when they join a group of people who also wish to lose weight. The same goes for daters (and no, we don’t mean you’ll lose weight when surrounded by single people!) Being surrounded by a group of friends who are engaged, married or about to get married, will leave you in despair and make you wonder why everyone but you seems to be happily paired off. This kind of social setting will enhance your feeling of loneliness and might even make you think that you’ll never meet someone. Of course, this is not true. What you need to do is adjust your social environment so that you’re surrounded by other single people, that way, not only will you have a support group, but an array of people who you can start dating!

Liberation
Many people enjoy the single life, and that’s a healthy thing. However, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they feel ready for love. Unfortunately, many single people let their relationship fears hold them back from rejoining the dating game. The cause of these fears needs to be addressed so that any anxiety can be released to allow love to blossom. Rest assured that this is a worthwhile and truly liberating process.

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